Christmas 2009

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My moment with God!

Okay, as I sit down to create this entry I am filled with mixed emotions. Great excitement that this moment finally occurred in my life and some hesitation because my relationship with God is something I have viewed as personal (which I believe is completely wrong by the way) so I am a bit uncomfortable on my "new legs" as I talk about my God moment, especially in such a public forum. Isn't it funny how you can be a believer most of your life (as far back as I can remember) but be so stingy with the things God has done for you for fear of scaring people away with your religion? I confess this sad fact about myself and pray that God will teach me to fearlessly share Him with others.........that's really what we're here for anyway, right?

Anyway, back to my God moment story. My whole life I have heard people say things like "God told me to do ........" or while I was praying God said to me......." I must admit for several years I thought these people were just a bit off their rocker but as I grew older I became jealous that others had experienced such intimacies with God. It's not that I had never felt God's nudging or that He was leading me, I have several times in my life, but I have never actually heard Him say something to me and I really longed for that. Well, I'm happy to say it finally happened!

On Monday afternoon, Annalise and I headed down to Trinidad to stay with my parents for a few days so that Annalise wouldn't be exposed to the sinus infection Trev is currently battling. Annalise was awake for the entire 2.5 hour drive and babbled or fussed most of the time. However, there was a moment when we were climbing the large hill to Colorado City that Annalise fell silent and all I could hear was my country radio blasting. I didn't hear a physically audible voice, but inside I heard a voice tell me to turn off my radio (those of you who know me well realize what a huge request this is since I don't enjoy quiet and ALWAYS have a radio or TV going to drown out the silence) and be quiet because God wanted a moment with me. (Yes, I know what some of you may be thinking because I have thought the same thing......she's out there, or she's a holy roller, or something along those lines.) So, I turned down my radio and awaited God's cue and sure enough, as I crested the hill I saw the most glorious sunset. It was God and He took the opportunity to show me something beautiful and let me know that He was right there with me. I can't accurately describe the experience with words but I knew God was there, He filled up my truck, I could feel His presence and it was incredible!

See, I have really been working on my relationship with God lately. Life has had more than its fair share of challenges for our family and I have naively tried to draw upon myself to find the solutions. I'm sure it won't surprise anyone when I say that I have failed miserably. Which is exactly what I needed to turn my stubborn head in the direction it should have been in the first place, up toward Him who loves me unconditionally and provides everything I will ever need. I have asked Him to be more obviously present in my life and to comfort me, I have asked the Holy Spirit to fill me and for God's hands to guide my steps in all areas of my life - wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, etc. Let me tell you, He is doing it and it is wonderful. I pray that anyone who reads this and thinks I'm wacky will have the same amazing experience someday and will realize just as I have that God is not a distant God, but is a God that is intimate and reveals Himself to us - we just have to remove the scales from our eyes so we can see Him.

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Psalm 103:2-5

Have a blessed day!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your blog was very touching. I pray that I can turn things over to our wonderful God as you have, instead of thinking I can solve problems on my own.

Love you,
Miem

The Howeiler Family said...

Wow- What a great story. You know me and I haven't changed, but your story is truly touching!